It has been a personal tradition to write down every end of November the changes that occurred to me or to the things around me at least, during the entire year. I wanted not to write about it anymore for this entry has almost done the job for me. However, the bullet list makes it shallow, so I thought of making a separate post still.
I felt most like a grown-up this year. I have been too critical of the things I do at work. I have come to point out what I like and despise in my to-do list. Further exposure in the Arts made me think of what more I wanted to do. However, conversations with friends expanded possibilities outside the paradigm of Arts. This then made me a little confused of what I really want in my life. I can say I am pretty young and I have a lifetime to spend, but I am not in any way planning to waste it. I may be in a pretty challenging phase regarding my career, but I’m taking baby steps to get wherever I long to be.
This has been the most and farthest places I’ve been so far. I used to have fear of unknown places but I thought of discarding such and enjoy the idea of being lost instead. There are always things and people that may serve as refuge. I learned that language is not just a mean of communication, but actually more of connection. I might have lacked the understanding of a language, but I didn’t fail to decipher man’s expression of joy and happiness.
I had rekindled heartaches and found new love. I moved from being a mean-time girl to one’s queen. I learned that forgiveness and moving on can only take place once truth and sincerity comes to surface. Also, that love comes in the weirdest of forms and in the least expected moments – when poetry was irrelevant, or when there could be, but was rather awkward. Or maybe I learned that I need not always romanticize such idea. And yes, surprisingly, there’s an alternate route to my heart.
I was a Calendar Girl, the reason why I find the Stars song a lot relevant in my life. This year however, I lost track of most days, forgot counting verticals, and chosen not to make countdowns (except for work-related matters). My heart has just been taught lessons of patience I guess, and maybe a way of catching polaroids of memories.