I used to believe Stargirl is my ultimate alter ego. I have cried and laughed with the book. I have identified with her heartbreak and her escapist tendencies in moving on.
Yes, I had a Leo aka Starboy, I had a Perry, and all other characters in between. I even had a number of Archie! I also did the world’s longest letter. But I guess the letter didn’t end sweetly like Stargirl’s to Leo. Let’s say mine had a signature of cusses and swear words, because I’m bad mouthed like that, even in letters. I kid, mine was less sweet, more platonic. Sans “Let the stars keep track of us. Let us ride our own orbits and trust that they will meet. May our reunion be not a finding but a sweet collision of destinies!”, because I don’t see us together anymore aka I don’t recycle boys principle.
The slight difference must’ve been brought about by my Perry. No, he isn’t delinquent nor does he have a harem. He wasn’t just basically my type. He listens to music far from my preference. He doesn’t read too much books. He plays computer games too much. And he spends too little time writing. But he’s got me smitten for reasons I can hardly explain. Perhaps it’s his gentleness midst his large frame, his fondness for kids, his true ~annoyingly happy~ self, and how he planted spatulas in my Enchanted Hill when I failed to.
And yes, my Perry and I shared a sunrise kiss. It was a pre-sunrise kiss actually. But unlike Stargirl who hesitatingly kissed Perry to solicit answers from her confusion, I did kiss my Perry because I liked him after all. I needed no answers because I had no questions. I needed no confirmation because I knew what I knew then.
Later have I realized, our Perry-Stargirl kiss made us Perry and Stargirl no more. We’ve moved on to an entirely new book.
*Also, she’s not my alter-ego anymore HAHAHA