On Summer’s End

I took the last bus ride home from the beach. I usually liked taking the night trip as I find it more relaxed and comfortable. I used to like passing through dim-lighted streets, making the stars even brighter. I used to like looking through the window where the featured sceneries that were once brimming with life has gone to sleep, dark and peaceful. I used to like the feeling of being above the earth, as if I was cradled in a hammock, with lullaby inducing sleep. However tonight, everything feels far different.

I feel uneasy. There’s something that keeps me awake, aback. My hair still smelt of seawater, making it dry and sticky at the same time. My skin was still warm and moist and dewy. My fingers moved not to the rhythm of the songs in my ipod, but paddled to the waves instead. My feet are a little dry and scaly with the tiniest of sand and dust in between my toes.

I no longer see the stars midst the dim streetlights, nor the streets gone dark and peaceful. All the windows exhibited was the playful sun, the balmy weather, the cheerful waves, and me running to the shore to greet the water. All i know is that, all that has been flashing through me is but the most recent and the swiftest memory. And the more the bus treads on its path, the farther I get from it, inch by little inch.

I wonder what is happening? I wonder how it has gone this way this time.

But all seasons are supposed to be short and temporary, does this mean this will be the end and/of the last?

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In Case I Forget What It Is Like To be Twenty Two

Yes and No.

Yes, I am twenty two. And no, I am not making a countdown with the less than fifty days left for me to be twenty two.

I would just like to make a rundown of the things that existed in the life of the twenty-two year old me. I’ll cut the drama and excitement of a sixteen year old, which I believe is my heart’s age anyway. And by default, everything will go in a random order.

  • Spent the eve of my 22nd birthday with an awesome surprise thrown by really awesome people.

 

  • Gatecrashed the Philippine Fashion Week. My friend and I cut her black ribbon in two so I can have a pretty good seat.

 

  • Reread my favorite books and got a copy of “Love, Stargirl” as a birthday present from my sister while sifting through piles and piles of books in Booksale.

 

  • Became addicted to torrent downloads. This is more of a confession actually. My music and movie downloads have gobbled up more than half of my office computer’s disk space.

 

  • Earned the “Curatorial Courage Award” during one of my paper presentations/workshops. Now that’s sarcasm from the academe.

 

  • Traveled out of the country for the first time. I spoke to strangers and felt at home in a foreign land. It was actually in art I found refuge.

 

  • Published an article for an exhibition. I did this for the love of the artist group and my unending fondness for my heart’s former sanctuary. I sounded like the very same girl who wrote my thesis though.

 

  • Built a sort of book club or a book swapping activity with my friends. I believe this helped my friends understand me better, just so they know where my thoughts and ideas spring from. You can say that my randomness has probably come out from the variety of books I read – from young adult (Polly Horvath and Jerry Spinelli) to philosophical (Kahlil Gibran and Richard Bach).

 

  • Had my heart broken for the nth time and found it gradually mended through surprising and unexpected ways. He has certainly taken the alternate route to my heart.

 

  • Finally received original copies of my Diploma and Transcript of Records. UP and its genius system!

 

  • Wrote short love notes to random men of my life for the whole month of February. No, I am not boy crazy.

 

  • Got my SSS, TIN, PhilHealth and etc files. This sounds rather shallow, but this made me feel like an adult.

 

  • Spent McDate evening aka cheap fastfood dinner with friends. This is also an ode to adulthood. It’s a meeting where we address our unfiltered thoughts on work, career, family, and love over a less than a hundred budget meal which is deducted from our mean salaries. Yuppie talk.

 

  • Spent the eve of Valentine’s Day drunk and bore a whole lot of emotional and alcoholic baggage throughout the day. Epic, yes I am.

 

  • Signed up for a WordPress account for serious blogging. Well, if this does seem serious.

 

  • My brother graduated. Since then, he has made lots of money more than I did, compared to my whole employment history.

 

  • Received a present nine months prior to my birthday. I just woke up one morning with the news that I’m going somewhere a week after my birthday. He didn’t only have the travel tickets, he had in hand the passport to my heart.

 

  • Had one of my post-PR’s plagiarized by a writer. Sigh. Somebody forgot her writing ethics.

 

  • Spent the Holy Week away from home for the first time. Just loads of plain fun in the sun. Not to mention, we almost got lost on the way home.

 

  • Got myself a phone and ipod from my own money. Adulthood made me feel good I didn’t have to ask extra from my parents.

 

  • Got addicted to Timezone’s Terminator and Silent Hill. Money and f-words spent and said in the most relevant way.

 

  • Went totally crazy about food. I raved about chicken wings, soup, and sandwiches most of the time. Plus, it seemed like there should always be an open food tab while working. I don’t like food, I love it!

 

  • Went night trekking during a storm for my first mountain climbing experience. I have earned more than the courage of a pro.

 

  • Lost two mobile phones in less than a month. This is the best thing I’ve done in my whole life. Ever.

 

  • Grown equal fondness for cats and dogs since Mr Snooze has a pack of dogs and cats, and dreams of becoming Philippines’ Cesar Millan.

 

  • Edited my friend’s short stories for a project, in which my own past love affair became her basis for the story.

 

  • Received a warm and cheerful welcome at a hospital after riding an ambulance. It didn’t develop a love for hospitals though. It’s still traumatizing.

 

  • Executed a fail but rather sweet surprise for someone. I’ve been always into beautifully written love letters, exquisite music and lyrics, good books, and delectable food.

 

  • Created a history of us together in letter form compiled as “Guess How Much I Love You”. It’s a lengthy bullet list of little things that answer a lot of why’s and how’s.

 

Day 15: Dear M,

I have fully associated you with Valentine’s day and summer.

For two years, you have waited for me at one of the entrances of our college building only to give me red and white roses on Valentine’s day. I even remember laying these roses on top of my photocopied readings that I used for an exam that same day.

One summer, we had a voyage to your sanctuary. You brought us to beautiful places.

But what I remember most of all, is how you made us listen to the music of summer – the wind, sea, sun, stars, and of friendship and love even.